Terry Hargrave - The Sandwich Generation: Unterschied zwischen den Versionen
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* Vortrag in Roseneck am 19.09.2012 | |||
* Sandwich Generation: | |||
** 45-75 Jahre | |||
** gleichzeitig Pflege der alten Eltern und Versorgung der nicht selbständigen Kinder | |||
== caregiving == | |||
=== big issue === | |||
* Lebenserwartung steigt (50% der heute Geborenen werden 100 Jahre) | |||
* staatliche Unterstützung wird ökonomisch nicht mehr möglich sein (economic recovery → U/V/L-shaped!) → family - community - government support | |||
* aus tödlichen Krankheiten werden chronische Krankheiten (Herz-Kreislauf, Krebs, HIV, ...) | |||
=== Modell: wer versorgt die alten Eltern? === | |||
aging member | aging member | ||
↑ | ↑ | ||
Zeile 15: | Zeile 23: | ||
what: money (housecleaning, Erbe!), spare time (relationships), care! | what: money (housecleaning, Erbe!), spare time (relationships), care! | ||
* don't divide caregiving! fairness! | |||
* challenge for the sandwich generation: organize support group! | |||
* im therapeutischen Prozess: Familiengespräch mit Eltern, Kinder, Partner, Geschwister | |||
=== Phasen der Realisation === | |||
* ähnlich wie [[Sterben|Sterbephasen nach Kübler-Ross]]: | |||
*# Denial (Nichtwahrhabenwollen, Leugnen) | |||
*# Anger (Zorn) | |||
*# Bargaining (Verhandeln) | |||
*# Depression | |||
*# Acceptance (Akzeptanz) | |||
=== keep in mind: === | |||
* elder people fight for their independence, don't want to be dependent | |||
* they might complain about the caregiver ;rarr, Familiengespräch! Wer soll es übernehmen? | |||
* take care that the caregiving relationship is '''not''' more important than the partner relationship and the family relationship | |||
* the ultimate expression of love: caregiving of elder! Es wird nicht besser, Du bekommst nichts zurück (?) | |||
=== issues in caregiving === | |||
# help mentality → responsibility<br>(daily fights → intergenerational fairness) | |||
# guilt → choice | |||
# burden → learning opportunity, "openhandedness" | |||
#* focus on relationship, not behaviour | |||
#* resolve old issues! | |||
# Evenness: balance between caregiving, family, marriage, individual life<br> → allow others to care for you! | |||
# '''life satisfaction based on independence → happiness based on relationship''' | |||
== parenting == | |||
* lifespan feature: in jedem Alter Vorbildfunktion für Kinder! | |||
* "Mottos" für die Kinder | |||
** "You can't do anything except the next game" | |||
** "It's totally out of your control"<br>→ be prepared to fail! | |||
*** have an alternate plan | |||
*** be realistic | |||
=== boundaries === | |||
* important for family collaboration | |||
* "when everything's done, there's always fence work" | |||
* make a plan to move out, sing it | |||
* Rules: | |||
** Boundaries | |||
** Safe Harbor | |||
** Three Safes: you have only 3 shots → stop resolving problems for them (Einstellung!) | |||
** clear consequences | |||
== links == | == links == | ||
Zeile 20: | Zeile 78: | ||
http://www.terryhargrave.com/ | http://www.terryhargrave.com/ | ||
[[Kategorie: | [[Kategorie:Mitschriften]] |
Aktuelle Version vom 11. August 2016, 16:39 Uhr
- Vortrag in Roseneck am 19.09.2012
- Sandwich Generation:
- 45-75 Jahre
- gleichzeitig Pflege der alten Eltern und Versorgung der nicht selbständigen Kinder
caregiving
big issue
- Lebenserwartung steigt (50% der heute Geborenen werden 100 Jahre)
- staatliche Unterstützung wird ökonomisch nicht mehr möglich sein (economic recovery → U/V/L-shaped!) → family - community - government support
- aus tödlichen Krankheiten werden chronische Krankheiten (Herz-Kreislauf, Krebs, HIV, ...)
Modell: wer versorgt die alten Eltern?
aging member ↑ One primary caregiver (expectations?) ↑ One primary caregiver support group who: sibblings, partner / spouse what: money (housecleaning, Erbe!), spare time (relationships), care!
- don't divide caregiving! fairness!
- challenge for the sandwich generation: organize support group!
- im therapeutischen Prozess: Familiengespräch mit Eltern, Kinder, Partner, Geschwister
Phasen der Realisation
- ähnlich wie Sterbephasen nach Kübler-Ross:
- Denial (Nichtwahrhabenwollen, Leugnen)
- Anger (Zorn)
- Bargaining (Verhandeln)
- Depression
- Acceptance (Akzeptanz)
keep in mind:
- elder people fight for their independence, don't want to be dependent
- they might complain about the caregiver ;rarr, Familiengespräch! Wer soll es übernehmen?
- take care that the caregiving relationship is not more important than the partner relationship and the family relationship
- the ultimate expression of love: caregiving of elder! Es wird nicht besser, Du bekommst nichts zurück (?)
issues in caregiving
- help mentality → responsibility
(daily fights → intergenerational fairness) - guilt → choice
- burden → learning opportunity, "openhandedness"
- focus on relationship, not behaviour
- resolve old issues!
- Evenness: balance between caregiving, family, marriage, individual life
→ allow others to care for you! - life satisfaction based on independence → happiness based on relationship
parenting
- lifespan feature: in jedem Alter Vorbildfunktion für Kinder!
- "Mottos" für die Kinder
- "You can't do anything except the next game"
- "It's totally out of your control"
→ be prepared to fail!- have an alternate plan
- be realistic
boundaries
- important for family collaboration
- "when everything's done, there's always fence work"
- make a plan to move out, sing it
- Rules:
- Boundaries
- Safe Harbor
- Three Safes: you have only 3 shots → stop resolving problems for them (Einstellung!)
- clear consequences